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Author
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Topic: Jokes ...
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xx Ice xx
Member # 295
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posted
One morning while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdles." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip she whispered in ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the gardener, the pool man and your brother." 
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A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a blackeye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So,instead of saying, I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh' so she socked me a good one."
The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you evil fat slag'
 ..lmao !!
Ice
xx
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ April 30, 2003, 15:13: Message edited by: xx Ice xx ]
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 Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage....
Posts: 2041 (0.31 per day) | From: Scotland (the only place worth mentioning in the UK) :-p | Registered: Oct 2001 (6406 days)
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charmed
Sweet and Innocent
Member # 728
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Lol 
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Posts: 1778 (0.29 per day) | From: On a pc.....duh!!!! | Registered: Nov 2002 (6027 days)
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Bronx 
Administrator
Member # 402
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posted
quote:
Originally posted by xx Ice xx:
But I accidentally said, 'you ruined my life you evil fat slag'
Now that was funny ...!!
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Posts: 9347 (1.48 per day) | From: Gloucestershire, England | Registered: Feb 2002 (6303 days)
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Shagi_Dawg
Member
Member # 457
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rofl...that was good..jokes are funny
Posts: 988 (0.15 per day) | From: Winnipeg,MB | Registered: Mar 2002 (6251 days)
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charmed
Sweet and Innocent
Member # 728
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I think the second is the best. That made me laugh hard.
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Posts: 1778 (0.29 per day) | From: On a pc.....duh!!!! | Registered: Nov 2002 (6027 days)
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SirLardsAlot
Forum Idiot
Member # 715
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posted
Hahaha. That's some good wankage ... I mean good jokes. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Posts: 5087 (0.84 per day) | From: Poopland | Registered: Oct 2002 (6037 days)
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xx Ice xx
Member # 295
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posted
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could
live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go
to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten
apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to
shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your
face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out
in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the
king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this
should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the
ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one
asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The
second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy
coming with pineapples."
..lmao !
Ice
xx
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Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage....
Posts: 2041 (0.31 per day) | From: Scotland (the only place worth mentioning in the UK) :-p | Registered: Oct 2001 (6406 days)
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WaLdO
Member # 576
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hahaha, totally awesome jokes ice!
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Posts: 2987 (0.48 per day) | From: OkiE PridE | Registered: May 2002 (6190 days)
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