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Topic: My Dear Wife

Toyone
Newbie
Member # 904

Member Rated:

posted

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
>
>During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
>
>
>I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
>
>The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
>
>54 times the sheets were clean
>17 times it was too late
>49 times you were too tired
>20 times it was too hot
>15 times you pretended to be sleep
>22 times you had a headache
>17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
>16 times you said you were too sore
>12 times it was the wrong time of the month
>19 times you had to get up early
>9 times you said weren't in the mood
>7 times you were sunburned
>6 times you were watching the late show
>5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo
>3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
>9 times you said your mother would hear us
>
>Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:
>
>6 times you just laid there
>8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
>4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
>7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
>1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
>
>KEEP READING.......
>
>==========================================================
>
>TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
>
>I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you
didn't
>get more than you did:
>
>5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
>36 times you did not come home at all
>21 times you didn't cum
>33 times you came too soon
>19 times you went soft before you got in
>38 times you worked too late
>10 times you got cramps in your toes
>29 times you had to get up early to play golf
>2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
>4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
>3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
>2 times you had a splinter in your finger
>20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
>6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
>98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV
>
>Of the times we did get together:
>
>The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the
sheets.
>I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,
"Would
you
>prefer me on my back or kneeling?"
>The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
>breathe.

I thought this was funny..

[Embarrassed]

)

Posts: 55 (0 per day) | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2003 (5773 days) | IP: Logged |

Ice Queen
Red Rose of Lancashire
Member # 779

Member Rated:

posted

I think it's really funny too. *lmfao*

--------------------
We are all born for love. It is the principle of my existence,
and its only end.

I feel it when I when I sorrow most:
It is better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Seduce my mind and you can have my body
Find my soul and I'm yours forever